If I'm being perfectly honest... being a film student right now sucks.
It could be worse don't get me wrong and I will forever be grateful to our tutors for constantly pushing us and motivating us to try and make something out of this year. However, despite the best will in the world, what we're getting out of university right now is not what we would be getting without a global pandemic and as much as we want to use this time to write or learn new skills, I find myself in a near permanent state of low motivation and low inspiration with a pet raincloud that likes to settle over my head when I wake up in the morning. I know compared to most people during these times I'm incredibly fortunate but trying to grasp onto positivity is becoming a constant uphill battle and has made me more aware of my own mental health than ever before.
Now, more than ever I'm looking to the silver screen for comfort. Before the pandemic I'd watch shows for escapism. These days I turn to them for a sense of normality. I am an avid re-watcher of shows (many of the choices on this list are repeat viewings) and it's often boggled my friends and family how I can watch the same episode of a show 20 times and still feel the need to watch it again. Well, I think on the one hand it's the familiarity. Seeing familiar faces and character dynamics has always been very relaxing for me. On the other hand I think it's because the episodes hit differently depending on where I'm at in my life. I find it very hard to dissociate myself from the media I consume. When I'm watching something I'm constantly thinking about how the themes, messages and subtext apply to my life and the people around me and sometimes I need to hear those things again, just within a different context.
This list of shows and films is quite diverse. It's not everything I've watched in lockdown but it's the stuff that, for me, has made this strange time manageable and I hope it will encourage some people to check them out or revisit something that might bring them a little joy.
1. St Frances
Starting off with one of my most recent watches. St Frances is such a special kind of film that shows the changing face of cinema. The dry wit and subtle comedy is delightful and also deeply emotional. It discusses issues I've never seen explored this way on film and does so unashamedly. An important film that doesn't treat itself "importantly" if that makes any sense.
2. Doctor Who
This show means a lot to me. I was 5 years old when Christopher Eccleston's series started and I remember being very excited that my parents were letting me stay up late to watch it. It terrified me. 15 years later and I've seen every episode from the reboot several times. I've grown up with it and it's grown up with me. I've founded friendships on this show and as weird as it sounds I think I learnt a lot about being a human on planet earth from this madcap space show. Each new Doctor represents a milestone in my life and I like revisiting them and thinking about how they helped me back then. I will always have time for it.
3. Schitt's Creek
I took a punt on this show when I was looking for something new to binge and it's fast become a new favourite. I watched it with my housemate and we quote it to each other almost daily. It's hilarious but also invitingly good natured. It's a show I feel safe with and know I'll be re-visiting sometime soon.
4. Shameless (US)
A recommendation from my flatmate which I initially wasn't too keen on. I've never really been a fan of shows like this because I find they can often descend into needless melodrama. If I'm not waiting for the plot to start, I'm waiting for the drums of the Eastenders theme tune to kick in. However, through watching this first season I have become a bit hooked. The writing is actually incredible with plenty of humour and plot. It's not escapism but it is family and community which is a welcome vibe.
5. Glee
I've already done a review of this show so I'll keep it brief. Is it dumb? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Also yes. What can I say, it's exactly what you think it's going to be! One of the best things about this show is that it's really good to watch with friends. My housemates were always asking me what episode or season I was up to and we could laugh at some of the... questionable decisions the characters and writers had made. For a while Glee became our watercooler show and it was a brilliant excuse to spend more time getting to know the people I was living with.
6. The Lady in the Van
I introduced my parents to this film at Christmas and watching again just re-ignited my love for it. Lockdown has introduced me to Alan Bennett which is a small price to pay but welcome nonetheless. I love the rhythm of his work. The subtext is so brilliantly handled and the acting is superb.
7. The Mandalorian
So, you might not have picked up on this but I'm a huge nerd. I know, I hide it well. The only criticism I can give this show is that there's not more of it. It strikes the perfect balance for a Star Wars fan. Enough prequel and Clone Wars references for the younger generation with the style and tone of the originals for older fans. It has the cheesy humour and god-awful wipe transitions that brand it as Star Wars but with writing that rivals anything that has come before it. Watching this show has both the nostalgia trip and the excitement of seeing something new. More please!
8. Greener Grass
Sometimes you just need to embrace the chaos. From the very first frame of this surreal comedy you just have to accept the reality of the film. Boys can randomly turn into dogs when they're depressed, women can give birth to footballs, everyone drives around in golf carts and wears braces. You just have to go with it and the more you surrender yourself, the more you enjoy yourself.
9. Modern Family
I watched this at the beginning of the first lockdown and thought it would be the defining show of lockdown for me. Little did I know how many more hours of watching TV were before me. While my own family are nothing like the Dunphy's it has been very strange not being able to see so many of them for so long and I think this show captures the same spirit I get from the big family gatherings we haven't been able to have this year. On the scale of stuff I watched last year it places comfortably in the middle but sometimes that's what you need and Modern Family is wonderfully watchable.
10. The Queen's Gambit
Forcing myself to watch new stuff over lockdown that isn't a sit-com has been a challenge. I'm very rarely "in the mood" for anything new when I'm feeling down which is increasingly often. The Queen's Gambit is the first show in a long while to break me out of this funk. I've loved this show. I think it's brilliantly written, I love the costumes, the cinematography, the music. Since watching it there's been a chess table set up downstairs for when any of my housemates want a game. Another show that's managed to bring us together as a house.
11. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I don't think there's been a time in the last five years where I've not been re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy is such a unique series because I'm still growing with it. I'm at the same stage in my life Buffy was at in season 4. The monsters and demons in the show are thinly veiled metaphors for the challenges of growing up and becoming an adult and there's something very cathartic about watching them be punched in the face, especially now. These characters feel like friends to me and I love them all despite their flaws. The show is dated but it retains its charm and wit. It's not for everyone but it's been a saving grace for me and I look forward to many future re-watches with a tub of ice-cream.
12. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
This show is my favourite thing I've discovered since lockdown and it's the most rewatchable (it took me two viewings to fully understand it). Another show that requires you to embrace the chaos, there's something so fun about these characters and this dynamic I could watch them for hours... and I did. The writing is so wacky which suits Douglas Adams' characters perfectly but also with a darkness and a drama I appreciate as an older viewer. For a sci-fi fan, this show is like a platter of everything I love served with extra garnish, which in this case is Samuel Barnett and Elijah Wood's acting. When the craziness of the universe is too much, it's nice to have a character telling you everything is connected and we're going to solve it somehow.
So that's it. That's my list and if you're stuck for something to dive into at the moment I hope it's given you a few suggestions.
Being a film student sucks right now but this whole experience has made me realise how important this industry is to me and why I'm here in the first place. It sounds silly but the stuff on this list is more than just TV and films to me. They represent a part of who I am and who I want to be. They've got me through some of the toughest times in my life and are continuing to get me through right now. I've never understood the importance of the arts more.
We don't know how much longer of this we've got to go or what the full extent of consequences will be but for now the best we can do is look after ourselves and keep going.
Do the little things that make you happy even if it's listening to your favourite song on a loop or watching an episode for the 50th time. Most importantly, let's support and empower the new creatives who are going to inherit these industries when lockdown ends. They're going to have a lot of important work to do.