Cinema Etiquette

I was going to settle myself in for a lovely long essay post about censorship in the media (I know I'm a nerd) but alas my thoughts have been derailed by one of the worst cinema visits I've had in a while and honestly I need to rant about it.

For me there's very few things that can beat going to the cinema. I love it. I love the atmosphere, the comfy chairs, the surround sound, the anticipation. I even like the adverts and trailers on the build up which is why it's so easy for me to get annoyed if that atmosphere gets ruined by a group of teenagers WHO CAN'T SWITCH OFF THEIR BLOODY PHONES FOR FIVE MINUTES!

I was with my mum and sister watching the new live action Lion King. The film is hardly high art. It's average at best and although there were some parts I enjoyed it doesn't hold anything to the original animation especially expression wise. However, I might have enjoyed the film more if it hadn't been for the row of girls in-front of us who talked through the whole thing! I understand that when you're out with your mates you want to catch up but you have about half an hour of adverts to do that and then the rest of your lives afterwards! I completely understand if the movie's not doing it for you but then... leave... or just suck it up and let everyone else at least hear the goddamn thing!

Three times I asked these girls to switch off their phones and they were asked by two others as-well. The last time I asked if they were watching this film or not (everyone who knows me knows I am very difficult to annoy but this... this broke me) the girl replied with "One of our friends has spilt her drink"

Well, you wouldn't have spilt it if you weren't standing up every five seconds or positioning yourselves so you could have a lovely chat. Other places exist for that... pretty much everywhere else exists for that.

I completely understand if there are genuine reasons for this kind of behaviour. I really do, I understand that sometimes life dictates that you need you phone on or you need to talk to somebody. What I hate is when people just get bored of the film and decide to scroll facebook instead. Your ant sized attention span might be gone but mine ain't so stop ruining the film for everybody your light-beam phone screen bestows its grace upon and let people have a good time! Let people get engrossed in the story and discuss it afterwards. The cinema isn't gogglebox!

I know I sound like a kill-joy and an old woman but honestly I don't think I've had one cinema visit over the last year that hasn't had people talking through the film or looking at their phones. It's my ultimate pet peeve (If you haven't already guessed)

So, here are some simple steps to not be that person.

1. Pick a film you actually want to see

Don't waste your money on something mediocre! Other things than screens exist! If your heart's not really in going to see a film then you're either going to talk and annoy those around you or sit in silence while you wait for a painful 2 hours of your life to pass you by. If you want to hang out with your mates, do that.

2. Arrive early

Plenty of time to talk before the film starts and you're already in the comfy chairs. Perfect!

3. Turn your phone off

If you're one of those people (and we're all guilty of it) that struggles to keep away from your news feed. Turn it off. Not just silent. Off. Obviously if there's chance of an emergency that's different.

4. Ask people to shhhhh

If you want to enjoy a movie then you have that right! Let's stop beating around the bush here. Some people don't know how irritating there being so let's stop tolerating bad cinema etiquette!